Build a Better Starbucks? Panera did

When my wife and I had a half hour to relax together over coffee, sure, we Starbucked with the best of them. What's that? You don't buy in? Good for you, but we don't attend services there because it's hip to do so.

The taste of the coffee is full and rich, sweet as opposed to sour, is smooth and hot and rewarding -- and it is that way every time. The corporation makes sure it is, because they do things like pouring out a shot of espresso that has been sitting for (wait for it) 11 seconds. Death by consistency.

I don't know how they do it, but the employees are also very, very consistent in their vibe. ... I once drove through a Dairy Queen at 9:57 p.m. and they'd turned the lights off three minutes early. I sat there, confused, and a kid barked through the intercom, "You can sit there all night if you want to, but we won't be open." True story. At fast food joints, often the kids don't like seeing you walk up. At Starbucks, the baristas (some how, some way) maintain their genuine gladness at seeing you.

The environment is all "model home" -- clean, uncluttered, impressionistic, warm and inviting. Your brain purrs as you walk in. Starbucks' interior decor has revolutionized fast-food service. Now the McDonalds next to me (THE MCDONALDS!) looks like a Starbucks.

The impressionistic feel is the key.  It's intelligent, but in a cute, nonthreatening, layered way.  It feels ... nice.  Judging by the Jack in the Boxes across the street, impressionism is gonna catch on :- )

I also don't know how they do it, but Starbucks' pastries are that one notch better than everybody else's, good enough that I go there just to get them. Their Toffee Almond bar tastes like chocolate chip cookie dough -- but with chocolate chunks you can sink your teeth into. Their Oat Fudge bar tastes like licking the bowl of your mom's chocolate frosting.

I mean, we don't go to Starbucks by no blinkin' accident. You walk out feeling good, every time. Press the food-button bar, again, Cindy. I think Algernon needs his caffeine hit.

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One day last month, Cindy asked me to meet her out at Panera's. Had never been there. Who wants to go to a place that features different kinds of bread.

I walked in, resignedly and in a bit of an irritated mood that my coffee break was going to be non-euphoric.

Three steps in, my eyes were (I'm sure) noticeably wider and my pleasure-antennae were on full alert. They also do the 21st-Century Model Home thing, but better than Starbucks does: the impressionistic art is brighter, more clever, and more thematic than Starbucks' is.

The pastry case was the second thing I noticed: bigger than Starbucks', much bigger, with a muscular bakery standing over its shoulder backing it up. The smell of bread amplified the visual appeal. (I found out later that they bake everything overnight, and if it doesn't sell that day, they give it to local food banks.)

I picked out a hot Bacon and Spinach Souffle, a cute little croissant-cupcake with sweet egg filling. I hadn't had a quiche like that in years.

The coffee was as good as Starbucks' drip coffee. Granted, after you go mano-a-mano with the brewed coffees, Panera's going to be done. Starbucks starts with brewed coffee and takes off from there. If sheer coffee variety is your thing, go to Starbucks, but that's the only reason you would. If a super-pleasant half hour is your thing, it's Panera by two (bread) lengths.

Panera has more than bistro-style mini-tables and overstuffed chairs. It has those, but it adds a flotilla of genuine coffee-shop booths. You can wallow in your coffee and pastry and Wi-Fi.

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For lunch, you can't get in there, not in the Paneras around the Puget Sound area. Go at 1 pm and try the tomato soup. It's creamy, savory, with wonderful large irregular croutons and twice as much as I can eat (which is saying a lot).

As a side dish for the tomato soup, I ordered a roast beef sandwich on an aciago-cheese roll. It expertly slipped cheddar, mild red onions, ripe tomatoes, and horseradish in to flank the beef: it still had my attention at the last bite.

The first thing that a Panera's employee would notice about my review? I didn't even need to talk about the first string to their bow. Check out their friendly little leaflet on Bread 101. It's fun to read. Yeah, the sandwiches are made with wonderful bread. You're whipsawed between whether you want to pay attention to the sandwich fillings, or to the crackly-chewy bread.

For breakfast, try the chocolate-chip bagel, toasted, with butter only. Service? I asked for jelly for my plain toasted bagel once, and the harried counterperson found me some PBJ jelly in the back. She gave it to me free.

If you're still married to your Quad Grande Extra Hot Mocha Double Cupped, my condolences. I'm sure you'll survive. :- ) Cindy and I connect even better in a booth at Panera's than we did in the overstuffed chairs at whats-their-name.

Cheers,

Jeff

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